After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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