She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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