Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
