This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
