So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
