Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
