Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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