Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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