WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
