there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize