we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
