would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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