also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
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