Don't you send me to vm
i will never coherently bang her
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
