ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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