he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
