Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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