Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
