We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
