He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
