Plan B is the new Plan A
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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