Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
