it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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