Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
