I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
