I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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