oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
