omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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