a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
