Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
