If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
