You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
