the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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