My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
