I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
this will be a night to untag.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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