I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
