I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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