If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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