Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
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