Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
