3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
