At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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