I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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