My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
