Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
