porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize