I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
