everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
