ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
