can u get pink eye on your cock?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
