That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
