I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
