Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
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