So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
