i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
