u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
